Introduction of Facebook

Early in 2014, he discovered a passion for Facebook.  He’d spend hours “reading articles.”  Reminds me of the men who read Playboy and Hustler for the articles.  With the configuration of our furniture, I could clearly see that he was using Facebook messenger to talk to someone.  So I’d scroll through his friends list and see young girls he had no business being friends with being added at an alarming rate.  

“Is this an effing joke?  Who are these girls?”  was all I could think.  And there is no way I can see who he’s talking to this way….hmmm.

Occasionally, he would share or like a totally inappropriate page, comment, or link.  At this point I said, “You do know your children can see that shit you’re posting, right?”  He played coy, pretending he had no clue it was inappropriate.  Maybe he changed his post settings or maybe he stopped being an asshole (ha!) but at least *I* didn’t see many post like that again.  

Oh, shit!  Maybe that’s because I stopped following him because he is such a political ass?!   That literally just dawned on me.  ðŸ˜³

Obsession

I became obsessed with checking the number of text messages he was sending and receiving.  Each night when he came home from work, he would go lie down while I made his dinner.  Inevitability, the number of his text messages increased exponentially during that time.  I must not have been doing enough to keep him happy.

One of his complaints about me was that I would not go to the bar with him.  One, we had five children.  Two, we had little money.  Three, I don’t drink. Four, I hate him when he’s drunk. And five, WE HAD FIVE CHILDREN! 

Around this time, our children were grown and I decided to join him at the bar…give it the old college try.  I was immediately hated by every woman there.  Even had one woman try to pick a fight with me while he sat there almost enjoying the attention. Had another woman tell me that we should “compare notes on him.”  What the hell is that supposed to mean?!

I believe he thoroughly enjoyed having women talk about him, even if it caused a fight between us.  He liked the whole appeasing me, apologizing, and of course, the make up sex.  

Our sex life was never lacking.  It was always over-the-top adventurous, but never intimate. He completely lacks love. 

So what is he looking for, because no one could have loved this man more than I?

The Quest

My quest was to prove that the king was not so truthful.  His proclamation of disgust toward all people who cheat on their significant others seemed so honorable to a girl who grew up with an abusive, cheating father.

* You must know that the king has a way with ALL women….they tend to be drawn to him and fall for him.  Even when he is with me or his daughters, women will blatantly flirt with him, standing a little too close, giggling like school girls…it’s sickening. 

After the late night text, I began checking the cell phone bill.  In 2013 text numbers were not available without legal paperwork.  I could only get phone call numbers.  He was not making any actual calls to anyone on a regular basis.  There were a few calls at odd times that I could not reverse trace to the owner, but nothing that I could use as proof that anything was going on.  The number of text messages per month he me sent/received increased from approximately 150 to over 1100 in the following months…but nothing was going on, it was all my imagination.

Let me point something out about my imagination…I am a REALIST.  I lack an imagination.  My kids are lucky they were not named Boy 1, Girl 1, etc…  I never named a doll or stuffed animal and I never played make believe.  Shit, living my life who the eff would need to?!  He was always giving me far too much credit when he told me things were all my imagination.

Luckily, some things change that help me out.

The Beginning

03.20-21.13, my husband went to the bar, as he normally did. Only this time he wasn’t home at 2am when I woke up.  He has a history of heart disease, and like most wives who love their men, I immediately imagined him lying on the street dying somewhere.

It was March in Philadelphia, so it was cold. I jumped out of bed, threw on clothes and a coat and started walking his usual route to the bar about 1.5 miles away. My heart was racing, not knowing what I was going to find. I just knew that every police and ambulance siren was an omen of what I was going to find.

About halfway through my journey I come across my husband happily texting and laughing with someone at 2:30 in the morning. At first I was relieved….then I asked who he was talking to. “No one,” was his reply.

I eventually found out it was a girl. He refused to tell me her name, actually laughed in my face when I asked. He swears “nothing” happened with her and I suppose I chose to believe that lie.

Truth is I was a stay at home mother for 20 years and I could not pay the bills on my own. He would quit his job and go to jail before paying me support.

From this night on my life has been a never-ending quest to prove that I am not making shit up.  He is a liar and a cheater. And he has only been using me as a maid, cook, nanny, and whore for the past 30 years.

Well, I finally did it!  I am not convinced it was a good idea, but I certainly cannot live in denial any longer.

I’ll let you know just how it all unfolded….